I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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