yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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