do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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