dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
