Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I came so hard my ears popped.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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