I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
