you win again, gameday.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
