Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
