Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize