It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
zippers are such a cool invention
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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