dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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