Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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