your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
