I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
