So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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