I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize