i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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