so explain again why im purple
no
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
BRING THE BAGELS
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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