Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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