i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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