I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize