just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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