Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
