I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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