Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
