Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize