at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
