so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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