I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
