he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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