ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
