found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She told me I should be a condom model.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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