And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
