god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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