I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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