Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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