Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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