No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
