the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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