You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
