i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
