Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
