well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
