Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
