What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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