i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i drank out of a bidet.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
