did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize