So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize