i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize