Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I sprained my soul last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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