the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
