Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
