so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.