carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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