Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
