People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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