you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
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i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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