He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
