Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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