Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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