Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
