i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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