READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
