i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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