I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
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He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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